All I've ever wanted to be was a Mom. From my earliest memories I would carry around a baby doll and pretend to be a Mommy. Whenever anyone would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up the answer was always "A Mom". When Lane and I got married we started our family when we were only married a month. I always knew my calling was to be a mom. I am so grateful for my two sweet boys. I love them more then life its self. I would climb a mountain for them, take away all there sorrows and pain, I would walk across fire for them, they are my world. It still amazes me that Father in Heaven would trust me with these to special spirits. I feel I don't deserve such a precious gift. Lane and I have been trying to add to our family for quite a while now. It's been heart breaking to see month after month turn into a year. It's been frustrating for Dr's. to tell me they don't know. It's been hard to watch others be blessed when I am not. My pain has been real. I never knew this kind of heartache in my life. Loads of tears, prayers and blessings have numbed me at times. But I know that my Father in Heaven has a plan for me. I know that he has his own time table. He knows me more then I know myself. I am in his hands. Sometimes its hard to let go of the wheel and let him guide you through. Even as I type this my sweet Ryan is on my lap snuggling me and telling me how much he loves me. I will never look at that family in church and think to myself why they don't have kids. Or why do they only have 1 or 2. I feel like I can sympathise with people who have dealt with this for much longer then I have. My heart goes out to you. So weather or not I am blessed with another child I will forever be grateful for what I have. And everyday I will thank my Father for the two special gifts he is lending me.
All I've ever wanted to be was a Mom. From my earliest memories I would carry around a baby doll and pretend to be a Mommy. Whenever anyone would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up the answer was always "A Mom". When Lane and I got married we started our family when we were only married a month. I always knew my calling was to be a mom. I am so grateful for my two sweet boys. I love them more then life its self. I would climb a mountain for them, take away all there sorrows and pain, I would walk across fire for them, they are my world. It still amazes me that Father in Heaven would trust me with these to special spirits. I feel I don't deserve such a precious gift. Lane and I have been trying to add to our family for quite a while now. It's been heart breaking to see month after month turn into a year. It's been frustrating for Dr's. to tell me they don't know. It's been hard to watch others be blessed when I am not. My pain has been real. I never knew this kind of heartache in my life. Loads of tears, prayers and blessings have numbed me at times. But I know that my Father in Heaven has a plan for me. I know that he has his own time table. He knows me more then I know myself. I am in his hands. Sometimes its hard to let go of the wheel and let him guide you through. Even as I type this my sweet Ryan is on my lap snuggling me and telling me how much he loves me. I will never look at that family in church and think to myself why they don't have kids. Or why do they only have 1 or 2. I feel like I can sympathise with people who have dealt with this for much longer then I have. My heart goes out to you. So weather or not I am blessed with another child I will forever be grateful for what I have. And everyday I will thank my Father for the two special gifts he is lending me.
Oh my dear sweet Serena! I love you girl. You are an amazing mom and I'm so sorry you are going through this rough time. We seriously need to hang out. The other day Carter asked me when he was going to get to play with his friend Ryan, not the one that is his dad, but you know the other one, little Ryan.
ReplyDeleteYou are the cutest mom ever! I love my little boy with all my heart and I can't imagine how much I will love the next one. Mike and I always joke it is good we didn't meet 10-15 years ago because we would have had 10 kids! WE just love our little boy so much. I am so glad someone loves being a mom as much as I do. I will keep you in my prayers!!!! Love ya!! Ann
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing such a sweet message. Your words really touched me today. Isn't it interesting how the Lord knows us so well and so perfectly that He knows the trials we need...I often think that when I'm grieving in the midst of my own afflictions. Please know that you are in my prayers. I love you.
ReplyDeleteRena Bean- that was a beautiful post. Dave and I have been praying for you. Thank you for being such an example, your positive attitude is inspiring.
ReplyDeleteLOVE you!
I am sorry. I know this has been a trial for you and I feel so selfish. I struggled to get Leandra here and had to try for 8 months. I know it sounds silly since she's my 8th baby, but I have those same yearnings you do and I truly hope you will be blessed again. You are an amazing mom and I love you so much!!!
ReplyDeleteOh, Serena I just love you and so sorry for the heartache you're going through. I know it's been hard and I wish I could take it away for you. I just want you to know that I love being around you and your silliness, sweetness, and always being compassionate. You will be blessed. Love you.
ReplyDeleteYou are the cutest mom serena. dont worry, all in due time babe. i have thought about you and wondered if its happened yet. it makes me feel bad that i complain about pregnancy and being "fat" come punch me.
ReplyDeleteyou will have another one, and when you do i will blog stock you and go "i wanna have another baby" be glad your hubby is on board for more...mine is like "two" 100% and it kinda sucks.
now go buy a positions book and eat some garbonzo beans...i hear they are good for libido:)
ps this is emily
Serena...oh, sweetie....don't give up!!! Heavenly Father gives you these trials only to make you an even more amazing woman!!! I can see what an amazing mother you are and I know that you have more to come!!! Love you tons!
ReplyDeleteoh girl, I remember myself posting about this a year ago! I so know what you are going through. It took us a year and half to get little stella! If you EVER need to talk... let me know!
ReplyDelete